And now for my long-anticipated review of Obama's cabinet. I'll start off by refering my readers to my previous article on this topic, found here.

 

To get us off on the right foot, I feel it necessary to point out the fact that Larry Summers did not get the job at treasury. So I guess we really do have an answer to the age-old question "Can someone be so bad at their job that even politicians won't work with them?" Congradulations, Larry.

 

Moving on...Hillary Clinton did indeed get the job at state, and Rahm "ironic" Emanuel got the job as Chief of Staff. So it appears I'm 2 for 3. That's not too bad. Unfortunately, every time I'm right, our next dirtbag kills a kitten:

 

 

Meet the guy who did get the nod for Treasury Secretary, Timothy Geithner. OK he's no Larry Summers, but wouldn't you know it? While serving at the Treasury department in the late 90's, he worked for Summers. In fact, Summers was his mentor! I think we can all see what's going on here: the Summers stench was too strong, so they stick his mouthpiece in the job instead. Well, so much for hope.

 

And he got the job despite being a known tax evader. Now, I don't necessarily have a problem with tax evaders. I mean let's face it, we all know what our tax dollars fund, and a man in Geithner's position knows better than we do. But here's the problem: Shouldn't he at least have the appearance of honesty? I know, honesty has been out of fashion in Washington for a long time, but come on. Anyone else who doesn't pay their taxes goes to jail.

 

Next up, Robert Gates:

 

I actually like this guy. I don't know why. Maybe it's the absence of that "Washington stench". Maybe it's the fact that he was an Eagle Scout. Maybe it's the fact that he turned down the job for Fatherland Security chief when the department was created. Maybe it's just the fact that Zbigniew Brzezinski loves him, I don't know. He conducted himself well under Bush, I can only hope the trend will continue. I see him as a refreshing breath of centrism and professionalism amidst a sea of partisan extremism.

 

Too bad I have to follow such a glowing review with...this:

 

Eric Holder is the new Attorney General. And what a wonderful AG his is going to be!

 

In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic.

 

Under the Clinton administration, Holder was instrumental in engineering the Presidental pardon of Marc Rich, convicted of tax evasion and treason for his illegal oil deals with Iran in the 70's and 80's. Now some might argue that the job of the Deputy Attorney General includes facilitating presidental pardons. And I suppose technically they would be right. But here's the problem: The only reason Rich recieved a pardon, was because Rich's ex-wife made large donations to the democratic party and the Clinton Presidential Library. Proving once again the axiomatic question "How much justice can you afford?"

 

But it doesn't stop there.

 

We all know that under the Bush administration, many laws were broken. Torture, illegal spying, embezzlement, profiteering and treason were popular passtimes by a number of administration officials. In civilized society, criminals who hold public office get punished for it. Well it seems they have nothing to fear here. During his confirmation hearings, he boldly stated that "waterboarding is torture", but in private discussions with Republicans, he gave them assurances that no prosecutions would be forthcoming. Good timing for Holder, since the Republicans were holding up his approval. It just goes to show that when political office is on the line, your principles are up for sale. Way to go, Holder. You are now the highest profile prostitute in the world.

 

Next up, Ken "Big Gubmint" Salazar:

 

 

Since he's going to be Secretary of the Interior, Salazar's...questionable views are particularly close to my heart. First of all, he's a big supporter of the coal industry. That means ripping up vast swaths of land for open pit mining. He's also in favour of hydroelectric, which means damming every river in the country and flooding even more natural areas. I have big problems with this. He likes big agribusinesses like Cargill and the international criminal organization, Monsanto. If this guy gets his way, there will be a patented, genetically sterile vegetable in every field and an open pit in every yard. Wonderful.

 

Which brings us to the new Secretary of Agriculture, Tom Vilsack:

 

Here's another piece of crap who wants Monsanto to rule the world. According to Wikipedia, Vilsack is a strong proponent of genetically modified foods, industrial farming and...corn based ethenol. This guy is a walking war crime.

 

 

Those are the big names. There are about a dozen or so less-known names (several unconfirmed), but they carry the mixed blessing of being less-known. I'm sure there's plenty of dirt to be had, but since they are political nobodies, their skeletons are a little harder to dig up.

 

Not that it really matters, though. Even if everyone else in the administration were lily-white, 100% honest politicians (laugh), the above mentioned names can do more than enough damage all on their own.

 

And that my friends, is change we can believe in.

And you thought "change" was coming? Dumbasses.

 

 

 

Boy, oh boy. It sure is a good thing Obama is going to undo all of the damage Bush did to civil liberties, isn't it? Well, at least he's going to back off of all of those illegal wars, right?

 

Wrong.

 

 

"Missiles fired from suspected US drones killed at least 15 people inside Pakistan today, the first such strikes since Barack Obama became president and a clear sign that the controversial military policy begun by George W Bush has not changed.

Security officials said the strikes, which saw up to five missiles slam into houses in separate villages, killed seven "foreigners" - a term that usually means al-Qaeda - but locals also said that three children lost their lives.

Dozens of similar strikes since August on northwest Pakistan, a hotbed of Taleban and al-Qaeda militancy, have sparked angry government criticism of the US, which is targeting the area with missiles launched from unmanned CIA aircraft controlled from operation rooms inside the US."

But he's going to close Guantanamo, right?

Well, sort of.

Afghanistan's 'Guantanamo' poses new prison problem for Barack Obama

"More than 600 detainees are held at the US Bagram Theatre Internment Facility - known by campaigners as "the other Guantanamo". Not only are there no plans to close it, but it is in the process of being expanded to hold 1,100 illegal enemy combatants; prisoners who cannot see lawyers, have no trials and never see any evidence there may be against them.

Like Guantanamo, since opening it has held men which the US military says must be kept off the battlefield; alleged al-Qaeda terrorists and Taliban fighters. Some, US officials have confirmed, were arrested abroad before being flown to Bagram for incarceration.

According to human rights lawyers the prison also holds scores of innocent people, many seized after tip-offs from feuding tribal rivals. The alleged offences are never tested in court.

The prison has been accused of torturing detainees and two men were allegedly beaten to death there in 2002. The US Army does not let outsiders in to view conditions inside."

Well, I guess that solves the problem of what to do with the detainees in Cuba, doesn't it?

I can hardly wait to see what change doesn't happen next.

My regular readers should appreciate this one:

 

Remember back in December, when I laid out the whole Blagojevich affair? Short version: Blagojevich threatened to stop Illinois from doing business with the Bank of America, and the very next day, he was dragged out of his house on federal corruption charges. Well it turns out, that may not be the end of the story. Remember the Miracle on the Hudson? Well as it turns out, 23 of the 155 passengers on that plane were on the board of directors for...you guessed it, Bank of America. And the plane got taken out by sucking a Canada goose into each engine simultaneously?

 

Isn't it fun watching them feed on eachother like this?