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August 18 And While the Serfs are Starving...So while people here in the "rich" west are losing their homes by the tens of thousands, one Saudi businessman has found a way to beat those recession blues.
That's right, suckers. Now that the great wealth transfer is complete and you've been relegated to the status of a third-world banana republic, the world's wealthy are spending what would have been a year's worth of your salary on solid gold penis pumps and laughing at you.
Do you feel stupid yet? August 13 What's This Tell You?So I've been monitoring this whole "health care" debate with less than moderate interest. You see, I've been called a cynic on...several occasions. Whether it's some sprawling government beaurocracy or mammoth insurance companies, I believe it's the patients who are going to get screwed. But I can say one thing for certain: What you guys have south of the border does not work.
I discovered this article today, and I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. Here's an excerpt:
"With Washington bickering over how to reform the system and contain its spiraling costs, many Americans like Ritz simply head to Mexico to get care they can afford. The total number making the trip is unclear. But a recent study by the UCLA Center for Health Policy Research estimated that nearly 1 million people from California alone seek medical, dental or prescription services in Mexico each year. Some making the trek have little or no medical coverage. Others like Ritz are on fixed incomes and want to avoid so-called co-pays and deductibles charged by U.S. insurers on top of policies that routinely cost from a few hundred dollars to a few thousand each month." I just don't know what to say about that. Going to Mexico for health care? Really? Mexico? Of course, I can't help but think if you guys could muster up some courage and buy some of your health care moguls tickets on my favorite bus, you might be able to get a private system that works. But of course, decades of festering in public education institutions that are only fit for turning out mindless, obedient consumer drones has completely neutered you. August 12 I found something useful on Fox!Actually, I don't watch much T.V. any more. The truth is, I found this on Youtube:
I'm ordering one right now. And in other firearm news, it seems there was one of those health care "town hall" meetings in New Hampshire. You know, those Hegelian talking point festivals where each side tries to scream their empty rhetoric the loudest, while the actual people caught in the middle are completely ignored? Well it seems William Kostric figured out a way to be heard. He showed up with a loaded firearm strapped to his leg, and a home made sign that said "It is time to water the tree of liberty" - a blatant reference to a famous quote by Thomas Jefferson. Oh, you can just imagine Chris Matthews crying about it! Oh wait! You don't have to imagine it, you can view it right here!
And before anyone else starts crying about it, you should be aware that what he did was perfectly legal in New Hampshire. I've gotta give Kostric credit. I don't know if he's had media training or not, but he delivered his message without swallowing Matthews' bait. I think it was something of a propaganda backfire on the part of MSNBC. They invited Kostric on the show, likely hoping he would sound like a raving lunatic. Quite the contrary, he made Matthews look like an impatient, volatile man with a hidden agenda. Big stretch, I know. That being said, I'm concerned. In the last year, I'm noticing the eyes of the media looking ever more intently on "domestic issues". There seems to be a definite concerted effort to villify freedom-oriented individuals, and this is just another step. Remember the domestic terrorist cell uncovered in North Carolina last month? Well as it turns out, the chief player in the arrests, Daniel Boyd may have actually been a "company man" who decided the America he fought to protect was dead: "It is said Boyd — a poster child for “white al-Qaeda” if there ever was one — trained at a terrorist camp in Afghanistan in the late 1980s and fought against the Soviet occupation of that country. Boyd was associated with Hezb-e-Islami, or Party of Islam. This, combined with the Department of Fatherland Security classifying veterans and Libertarians as "dangerous extremists" (See H.R. 1955 for starters) certainly paints an unpleasant picture. August 07 Why so ssssssssssssocialist? OK, now that I've gotten that out of my system, you're not going to believe what comrade Barakski is trying to pull this time.
For one thing, the above picture is not my work. Apparently, these rather ghoulish visages began appearing on telephone poles in Los Angeles this week, and the White House is furious. They sent in their local pitbull, Los Angeles Urban Policy Roundtable President Earl Ofari Hutchinson to call the depiction "politically mean spirited and dangerous." He even went so far as to issue a "challenge" to the thus far unidentified artist to step forward and take credit for his political cartooning.
Given some of the events that are transpiring lately, I can't say I blame the artist for keeping his identity safely anonymous.
Incidentally, I found someone who took up the challenge of spreading this... rather amusing protest... and even make a buck off of it. If painting a target on your forhead for Obama's snitch squad is your cup of tea, you can order a T-shirt here. If you order, make sure to mention that the 'twister sent you. I don't actually get anything out of it, but I figure "Hey, if I can send some customers their way, maybe they can send some hits my way." Don't want a T-shirt? You can always print off a pdf flyer and bring the message to your neighborhood instead.
And speaking of snitch squads, Did you hear about the administration's new scheme to "monitor" opposition to his health care reform? Apparently, if you see anything "fishy", you are supposed to forward the information to flag@whitehouse.gov for "further analysis".
Think I'm kidding? Ask Senator John Cornyn about it. Here's an excerpt from an article on World Daily Net:
"'I am not aware of any precedent for a president asking American citizens to report their fellow citizens to the White house for pure political speech that is deemed 'fishy' or otherwise inimical to the White House's political interests,' the Texas senator wrote in a letter today to Obama.
By requesting that citizens send 'fishy' e-mails to the White House, it is inevitable that the names, e-mail addresses, IP addresses, and private speech of U.S. citizens will be reported… You should not be surprised that these actions taken by your White House staff raise the specter of a data collection system."
Still not convinced? This is taken directly from the White House website:
"There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov."
Seriously, you can't make this crap up! Also, notice that part in bold. If you even talk about the bill in a negative way, they want your friends to rat you out.
So exactly what is in this bill that Obama is so terrified might become public knowlege? Well I haven't read the entire thing yet (You can do it yourself if you like, the full text is here), but I can say there's a fair amount that would annoy anyone who favours the current system. But that isn't enough. I'm not interested in the partisan nonsense that drives these kinds of arguments. It needs to be bigger than the "He's going to deny coverage to old people" rhetoric (Which incidentally, may have some truth to it).
What we're looking for must be something so serious that even discussing it puts you on "the list". Something positively Earth-shattering. If you spot it, please let me know. July 13 Bet You Didn't Hear About This on CBCWell, it looks like the worldwide slave revolt has finally come to Canada. And big surprise, the mainstream media is silent on the issue.
Apparently, residents of Dawson Creek, B.C. have taken the rather drastic step of blowing up natural gas pipelines in their ongoing battle with EnCana and it's nasty habit of leaking hydrogen sulphide into the air. There have been 6 bombings so far, and the police are completely without suspects. The RCMP are obviously feeling some pressure on this, so they are really leaning on the community for information - even going so far as to engage in public harassment - but so far nothing has turned up. There are only 3 possibilities that I can see:
1) Nobody in the community knows anything. The perpetrators are not local.
2) Nobody in the community knows anything. The perpetrators are local, but they aren't bragging about it
3) The community is shielding the perpetrators
Personally, I believe it is 2), but either way, this situation is getting out of hand.
Some background is in order.
Hydrogen sulphide is a naturally occuring gas commonly associated with natural gas. It is responsible for that distinctive "rotten eggs" smell that 90% of the population can detect at concentrations as weak as 50 parts per billion. Most of the natural gas in Western Alberta and Eastern B.C. is "sour", meaning it has higher than normal (1% or greater) concentrations of hydrogen sulphide. It is fatal at atmospheric concentrations exceeding 250 parts per million. So why are the people of Dawson Creen so angry? Because they have learned from their neighbors.
In October 2008, a school board in Alberta discovered that one of EnCana's nearby wells was venting hydrogen sulphide at concentrations exceeding 160,000 ppm. to be clear, that is 640 times a fatal concentration. If this is the way EnCana does business, it's no wonder the citizens of Dawson Creek are taking action.
Naturally, the RCMP has chosen to classify this as domestic terrorism, rather than arson. EnCana is also offering a $500,000 reward and beefing up security. Of course, there is no way to provide 24/7 security to the ~43,000 kilometres of pipeline and the ~150 wells around Dawson Creek, so we call all be assured there will be more attacks in the future. June 25 DON'T PANIC!I hope you assclowns have finished moving your money out of $USD denominated assets, because the stampede for the exit has started.
 (Above: An old woman accidentally wandered onto Wall Street with a dime
in her purse, and these nice bankers are rushing to help her carry it.)
Some of you may remember my June 5 article on how the Obama gave Germany the proverbial finger when they asked for their gold back. Well as it turns out (and this shouldn't really surprise anyone who reads here regularly), that was only the overture. The curtain is going up on this little drama, and it's every bit as depressing as King Lear.
On June 8-9, members of the Shanghai Cooperation Organization met in Yekaterinburg, Russia to discuss how to extricate themselves from their own $USD holdings. Obama asked to be allowed to send an envoy to the meeting, but Chinese President Hu Jintao told him "是性交，象家一样不演奏那。", which is Chinese for "Go fuck yourself, Homey don't play that." You see, the US has been buying Chinese products and paying for it with money they borrowed from...the Chinese. The Chinese were getting screwed, and President Hu is finally saying "No more dorra fo you, round eye!"
Russia is also getting fed up with the Americans policy of hyperinflation. You see, Russia is an oil exporter, and because oil is priced in $USD, an American policy of inflation gobbles up any profits the Russian government makes from it's oil sales. They are obviously getting fed up with getting robbed as well, because at the aforementioned metting in Yekaterinburg, the President Medvedev puppet on Putin's hand suggested monetizing gold (gasp! Non-inflationary money? How will the bankers keep robbing us?)
And if this isn't quite enough to make you crap your pants, there's the article that I just discovered today which raises the spectre of a bank holiday in August or September, and that American embassies around the world have been ordered to spend massive amounts of $USD to aquire local currencies - enough to last them an entire year.
Even Leap2020 (A big European thinktank) is trembling in terror. They are predicting a "financial perfect storm" of
"1. Wave of massive unemployment: Three different dates of impact according to the countries in America, Europe, Asia, the Middle East and Africa
2. Wave of serial corporate bankruptcies: companies, banks, housing, states, counties, towns 3. Wave of terminal crisis for the US Dollar, US T-Bond and GBP, and the return of inflation" and that the summer 2009 will:
"be marked by the converging of three very destructive « rogue waves » (2), illustrating the aggravation of the crisis and entailing major upheaval by September/October 2009. As always since this crisis started, each region of the world will be affected neither at the same moment, nor in the same way (3). However, according to our researchers, all of them will be concerned by a significant deterioration in their situation by the end of summer 2009."
There's no way to put a positive spin on this. Reports are coming in from every sector now, and they all say the same thing:
 June 24 How Do They Get Away With It?With all of these already rich bankers robbing taxpayers to make themselves even more rich, one is tempted to ask "Just how do they keep getting away with it?"
Well I thought it might be fun to delve into this discussion a little bit. Surely some tiny group of people could never gain so much power as to control the entire world, could they? Surey the people are smart enough to stop them, right?
Unfortunately, a quick tour of http://answers.yahoo.com/ tells us that no, in fact the people are not smart enough. Here's a quick sample of some of the earth-shatteringly stupid questions people ask:
i shove pizza crust up my butt when I get angry at my mom because i want her to get pissed because she has to take me to the emergency room. whats another way to get back at my mom?
ok im kinda worried here since my g/f got pregant and she isnt been havein her period do u think the baby is drinkin the blood?? she 6 month pregant.
This could be a phase. Is there some way I could find out if he's really gay? He's only 19.
Doesn't seem so surprising now, does it? It's not hard to stand head and shoulders above the masses when these are the masses . June 05 Nothing leftI'm sure by now all of you have had a chance to see CNBC's most recent piece on Obama. Oh, it's a grand example of fellatio. Lots of fluff, not much substance.
But the careful observer would have detected a rare moment of downright frightening honesty starting at about 7:15 of part 1. It deals with Larry Summers (Everyone remembers him, right?) and a phone call with "the Germans". It seems pretty innocuous at first, and I'll admit I didn't pick up on it immediately myself. It wasn't until a few days later, when I stumbled upon this. Apparently, "the Germans" are demanding the return of their gold.
Now, I'm not normally one to immediately jump on the rumours circling the blogosphere, so I did some research. As it turns out, Germany recieved some 24,000 kg of "gold compounds" and another 5,000 kg of "gold scrap" in January 2009 alone. That accounts for approximately 12.4% of total exports for that month. Unfortunately, the figures weren't broken down for 2008, but if the percentages are even close, they recieved approximately 470,000kg of gold in 2008 as well.
Now I want my readers to pay special attention to the following paragraph, taken from the link above, and try to grasp the true scope of the problem:
"Ladies and gentlemen, the foregoing data and discussion with the USGS individual is proof that the United States of America [or criminal elements within its Treasury and/or The Federal Reserve] “HAS” surreptitiously exported physical gold - and continues to do so. It is confirmed. The exports are likely coin melt [or gold compound, if you prefer] from the great gold confiscation back in 1933; or alternatively, this terminology is being used to disguise physical repatriation of foreign gold bullion formerly on deposit with the N.Y. Federal Reserve. Such repatriations are recorded as “exports” in U.S. Trade data. Public acknowledgement of same would scream like a siren call that the global financial community has totally lost faith in American financial stewardship – hence the need to do so on the sly. "
So what does this have to do with the call from "the Germans"?
Well there's the distinct possibility that the shipments have stopped. The USGS hasn't published export data since February.
Remember back in March, 2008 when I suggested the treasury was going to have a fire sale? Well if these numbers are correct, that's exactly what they did - right about the same time I was making the prediction. There's a very real possibility that there's no gold left! I won't know for sure until some more recent data is published, but what if the Germans were calling to say "Give us our gold", and America is saying "We don't have it"?
And the Germans aren't the only ones running for the hills. China is buying up every gold filling it can get it's hands on. Saudi Arabia as well. The stampede has begun. Gold traders have suspected for years that the Fed's unaudited gold reserves have been...overstated. Now it's starting to look like not only were the reserves flat-out non-existant, but they may have been loaning out other countries' gold as well - without the owners' consent.
And that's just not good for business. May 12 Are you paying attention?Pardon me while I wax mainstream for a moment, here.
For those of you who have been following the Tamil protests around the world lately, I have some information for you:
On the local news this morning, the reporter was interviewing one of the protest organizers in Toronto. The guy was talking about forming another human chain to grind traffic to a halt. Pretty standard fare. However, he let slip that at tomorrow's event they will be asking protesters to bring donations to the Daily Bread Food Bank. He wants his protesters to "give back to the people".
I guess these guys have learned from the failures of General Prabhakaran, Leader of the LTTE in Sri Lanka (Excuse me, former leader of the former LTTE. It's getting pretty hard to find either Prabhakaran or his men, no matter how hard they try). This food drive is straight out of Mao Tsedong's book "On Guerilla Warfare". I mean it's literally straight out of the book. It's right there, at the end of chapter 6:
"Many people think it impossible for guerrillas to exist for long in the enemy's rear. Such a belief reveals lack of comprehension of the relationship that should exist between the people and the troops. The former may be likened to water the latter to the fish who inhabit it. How may it be said that these two cannot exist together? It is only undisciplined troops who make the people their enemies and who, like the fish out of its native element cannot live."
By giving food to the poor, these modern day Che Guevara wannabes figure they can garner the support of the disenfranchised here in Canada. There's only one small problem with this plan: Canadians don't give a rat's ass about your dead countrymen, and they laugh at your cowardice. All the rice and canned tuna in the world isn't going to make your rediculous whining, 10,000 miles away from the front lines look the slightest bit noble.
Besides, we Canadians have long memories. We know all about the brave LTTE, boldly sending women suicide bombers to murder foriegn politicians. We know all about the brave LTTE generals, sending children as young as 7 to the front lines. We know all about your crimes at Aranthalawa, Anuradhapura, Kattankudy mosque, Kebithigollewaand and the Dehiwala train bombing. We know, and we are not impressed. You whine about the atrocities committed against your countrymen by the Sri Lankan government, but where was your outrage when it was they who were commiting genocide?
And let's not forget your fellow Sri Lankan and Indian Tamil immigrants right here in Canada. I can't count the number of friends who have had encounters with Tamil gangs. Friends who barely survived. Friends who didn't survive. Your brothers bravely attack lone individuals. You descend upon us with 10 of your friends, armed with sawed-off pool cues, baseball bats and knives. You have imported your ethnic violence, and you ask us to come to your aid?
The truth is, despite the Canadian government's measured responses in public, behind closed doors we are applauding the deaths of your countrymen. May 07 This Just Pisses Me OffIt's been a few days, and a lot has happened. Chrysler went bankrupt, H1N1 turned out to be exactly as meaningless as I predicted, and the American puppet government in Georgia crushed a populist military coup d'etat. Even as I post this, the Chairman of the Canadian Auto Workers' Union is giving a press conference, stating that they WILL NOT agree to any more pay cuts in the face of GM's most recent $6 BILLION quarterly loss. Each of these events on their own are worthy of a full-page Dreamtwister rant. But you know what? Even the Dreamtwister gets tired of looking at the big picture. Sometimes, even I like to stop for a second and focus on the little injustices that tend to get completely ignored in the face of world-crushing geopolitical juggernauts.
"But what problem could be so little that the mainstream media would overlook it, but the mighty Dreamtwister would get mad enough to rant?" You might ask. "Could it be how the US government, failing to convince the landowners to sell, have decided to declare condemned 500 acres of land so they can build their Flight 93 monument?"
Again, it's a topic fully worthy of a Dreamtwister rant, and you can be forgiven for assuming it was my topic of choice for today. But no, today's issue is an even smaller injustice than a government robbing a few landowners of their land.
Today, I want to talk about a 15 year old boy's right to defend himself.
Last week at a high school in Keswick Ontario, a 15 year old Korean boy was suspended for 20 days for breaking another student's nose. The York region school board was even pushing for a permanent expulsion. There are charges pending. He might even face jail time.
I know, I know. Young Offenders' Act, LOL at Canadian youth prisons, all of that. You get a gold star for completely missing the point.
As it turns out, this Korean boy was being bullied.
You see, the other boy was calling him names and shoving him. Bad choice for the bully. Turns out the Korean boy holds a black belt in Tae Kwan Do. (Spare me the 'take my dough' jokes for the time being, please). Finally, when the victim felt the abuse had continued long enough (And I have to admit, he used far more restraint than I would have in a similar situation), he broke the boy's nose.
Of course the school board, in it's infinite wisdom, decided to not only hand down the maximum suspension allowed, but to begin expulsion proceedures and notify the police!
Things have changed a bit since this happened last week. The students of the school staged a walk-out and notified the media. The school board has repealed the suspension and terminated expulsion procedures. The price? The victim was forced to apologize to his attacker. I can't even begin to articulate my outrage at this miscarriage of justice. There are just so many little details to this story that make my head want to explode.
First of all, why is the Globe and Mail trying to make this story all about the racism? Is that even the point? The victim was being bullied. He was verbally and physically abused by his classmate. It doesn't matter what the words were, they were abusive. Mister Friesen, why are you trying to downplay the self-defense aspect of this story in favour of playing up the racism? What is your agenda here?
Second, why has no disciplinary action been handed down for the assailant? Last time I checked, assault is a crime in Canada. This little bastard assaulted his classmate in front of a score of witnesses. Why is he not being punished?
Third, why was the victim forced to apologize for defending himself? Could it be that the school board is participating in the systematic destruction of self-reliance in our children, prefering instead that these children grow up to be completely dependant on the state for everything?
Finally, WHY THE HELL ARE THE CHARGES STILL PENDING? I kid you not. The boy's first court appearance is on May 13, at which point the Crown will determine if the case is to proceed. So now this kid who has already been forced to miss a week of school for defending himself, now has to miss another day of school to appear in court to explain why he felt he should defend himself. Not only that, but his parents have to take time off of their jobs and incur the expense of retaining a lawyer.
OK, I think I'm done now. Excuse me while I go vomit. April 28 Are you scared yet?
The Triumph of Death - Pieter Bruegel the Elder, 1562. The way the media is stoking this fire, you would expect nothing short of a biblical plague. Too bad the facts don't support it.
At last count, there have been a grand total of 68 confirmed deaths worldwide, and all of them in Mexico. My regular readers will know that Mexico isn't exactly a bastion of good sanitation right now, what with the water being shut off to roughly 5 million people and all...
So here's the situation. You have a sub-tropical country that is literally 5 seconds away from collapsing. You have millions of people who keep pigs tied to their front door frames as part of their food supply. The same people who live 10 to a hut and hug everyone they meet. They are constantly dodging bullets fired by their own army and the drug cartels. You take these people and cut off their water, and then act surprised when disease breaks out?
Frigging retards.
Oh, and to those people who think this is some form of bio warfare, I'm going to have to rain on your parade. Don't get me wrong, I like a good conspiracy as much as the next guy. But in this case, the facts just don't support it.
It looks like "patient 0" might have been an employee at, or resident near a Smithfield Farms industrial pig farm in Vera Cruz. It appears that the residents of Vera Cruz have been involved in ...given the state of government in Mexico, I'm hesitant to call it "legal action"... against the Smithfield Farms subsidiary, Granjas Carroll, for it's unsanitary practises. It appears that their sanitation regime consisted of shoveling pig feces into the local drinking water. Imagine that? A pig farmer, who spends all day shoveling pig shit into the river, then goes home and actually drinks that water, and he comes down with swine flu. Someone better call Mr. Ripley.
"But 'twister, I heard it was genetically engineered!"
OK, it's time for biology 101. Let's pretend you have this stupid lazy pig farmer. He goes to work one day with the flu because if he doesn't go in, his boss will give his job to some other stupid lazy pig farmer. So this pig farmer transmits his flu to the pigs. Yeah, it happens all the time. There's a reason most of the world's religions forbid the eating of pork, and this is it. WE SHARE DISEASES.
Anyway, back to our little piggies. So now they have this nasty flu that is a mix of North American and European flu, contracted from our dirty naco friend. The piggies run around, happily spreading human flu amongst themselves. When along comes Porky, our friendly neighborhood swine flu carrier pig. Porky (carrying swine flu) noses up to Petunia (carrying human flu) and they make pig kissy faces and swap virii. Now you have 2 distinct strains of flu in 1 carrier. Well you can't leave those 2 crazy kids alone for a moment, because before you know it, they've had a little baby flu. (Just imagine the looks on the other pigs' faces when Porky shows up at the country club with Petunia and their half-breed flu baby!) But pigs are no less vulnerable to trends than the humans who eat them. Soon all the little piggies want to have a pet cross-bred flu of their own.
But here comes the crazy part!
Imagine if you will, one of those migrating birds that always seem to be carrying H5N1 - the dreaded avian flu. Maybe a flock of Chinese ducks got lost and ended up over Mexico. (I guess they can't drive any better than Chinese people. Who knows). Anyway, your flock of avian flu carriers fly over our happy little flu factory and shit all over the pigs. Naturally, if this farm were in a country that had sanitation standards, this wouldn't be an issue. All of the little piggies would get hosed down regularly, and the feces would be isolated. But not in Mexico! In Mexico, the pigs can wallow in their own shit for days, reinfecting themselves with swine, human and now avian flu!
You see, the flu virus can survive in feces. And when the pigs infect themselves with this third type of flu, their genetic material gets mixed in with the human and swine variants, and you get a brand new strain. This strain gets shoveled into the town's water and VOILA! Instant pandemic!
Isn't science fun?
But I digress. Back to my main point.
This new variant of flu was detected on April 9th. That means in the last 20 days, 68 people have died worldwide. That works out to 3.4 deaths per day. To put that into perspective, within the last 24 hours, 3,288 people around the world were killed in car accidents*. That means at this stage, you are literally 1,000 times more likely to get killed in a car accident than you are to be killed by this "terrifying pandemic".
But of course, if your only source of information is the mainstream media, you are probably shitting bricks right now (not to mention, not reading this blog. Everybody knows people who get their news from television can't read).
*Based on these statistics from 2004. - 1.2 million deaths per year, divided by 365 days and rounded up. April 19 I warned you!I seriously hope nobody is surprised by this, because I have been warning about it since at least September 2007.
Those guys over at the Long War Journal (Forget the name, they actually do some pretty good work) Put together this map in February, outlining just how much of Pakistan had fallen under the control of the Taliban. Have a gander:
 The map excludes data about the northern tribal areas (Because they are technically autonomous, though completely under Taliban control), and everything east of Islamabad (Because by that point, it doesn't matter any more).
And now here's the situation just 2 months later:
 Government forces have ceeded control of 3 provinces in just 2 months. Taliban fighters are now within 60km of Islamabad. You want to talk about balls? After the federal government surrendered Buner district to the Taliban, they drove a convoy of 10 trucks back to Malakand, passing by a military base and through the home town of the province's Chief Minister. It's as if they are saying "We dare you to try it, bitches."
So while the Pakistani government surrenders it's positions faster than the French in 1940, the Obama administration continues to conduct it's war as though this were a conventional army: assasinating leaders. NEWS FLASH! That doesn't work! You can't play this game with a top-down approach, because the "top" is meaningless. The Taliban (and al Quaeda) don't so much issue orders as they preach ideology. They take that whole "army of one" philosophy very seriously. The guy on the front lines isn't sitting around waiting for orders from the cave, he acts independantly on his own timetable and with his own resources.
And there are only 2 ways to deal with that kind of distributed insurgency: Capitulation, or extermination. That means if you aren't willing to kill every man, woman and child in the entire theatre, you might as well go home.
But whatever the decision is, we need to move quickly. Islamabad (and the keys to the nukes) are now just 60km away. April 08 At least one sector of the economy is booming!I was going to write something tremendously clever and sarcastic, but I decided against it. The facts speak for themselves:
 March 30 Score another one for the 'twister!It appears I was right again. (Yes, I know I said I was getting tired of saying that, but I don't think I really do).
Remember last week when I said that the real story at AIG was that Washington was basically using them to funnel money to unknown counterparties? Well according to the amusingly named author "Tyler Durden" over at ZeroHedge, that's exactly what is happening. Now they go into a fairly long-winded and arcane explanation that made even my eyes go glassy, so I'll save my readers the asprin overdose and simply give you the cliff notes version:
"In simple terms think of it as an auto dealer, which knows that U.S. taxpayers will provide for an infinite amount of money to fund its ongoing sales of horrendous vehicles (think Pontiac Azteks): the company decides to sell all the cars currently in contract, to lessors at far below the amortized market value, thereby generating huge profits for these lessors, as these turn around and sell the cars at a major profit, funded exclusively by U.S. taxpayers (readers should feel free to provide more gripping allegories)."
They go on to point out how AIG now has government blessing to violate securities laws to unwind their exposure further:
"So - in simple terms, ISDA, which is the only effective supervisor of the Over The Counter CDS market, is giving its blessing for trades to occur (cross) below where there is a realistic market bid, or higher than the offer. In traditional equity markets this is a highly illegal practice. ISDA is allowing retrospective arbitrary trades to have occurred at whatever price any two parties agree on, so long as the very vague necessary and sufficient condition of "market quotations may be difficult to obtain" is met. As anyone who follows CDS trading knows, this can be extrapolated to virtually any specific single-name, index or structured product easily. In essence ISDA gave its blessing for below the radar fund transfers of questionable legality. The curious timing of this decision and the alleged abuse of CDS transaction marks by and among AIG and the big banks, is striking to say the least."
To dumb it down even further, this allows AIG to unwind it's CDS exposure at any price, regardless of what the market thinks the price should be. All that is required is for the counter-party to agree to that price.
For example, let's say AIG and Citi are counterparties to a CDS on a mortgage-backed security - let's call it the "Can't pay the bills" fund. Now the market values the CDS at $2 million. Naturally, nobody wants to unload their holdings at 2 cents on the dollar, so AIG and Citi agree on a price of...$100 million, in complete defiance of market forces. Citi unwinds it's CDS at a huge profit, and AIG suddenly needs $98 million in bailout funds. Citi walks away with huge profits on the books, AIG cleans up it's books and the government gets to print lots of money. Everybody is happy - Except you and me and about 6 billion other tube steaks.
And who are the recipients of our largess? Why none other than Citigroup, Bank of America and the perennial favorite, JP Morgan. And those are just the ones we know about. We still have no idea who the "foriegn" counterparties might be. The best way to find out? See which banks are posting huge profits. Odds are, it came from AIG bailout funds. March 29 Where's Bandar?
Well, it's been an exciting week in the house of Saud!
I know how much my readers love reading about the political mechinations of Saudi princes, so this is sure to be a page-turner. Apparently, Prince Bandar bin Sultan, son of the heir to the throne, has disappeared! Yes, that Prince Bandar.
Interesting timing as well, since Prince Bandar's father, Crown Prince Sultan is currently dying of cancer. He'll probably be dead within the year. Then to add further to the excitement, King Abdullah appointed some relatively unknown half-brother (more on him in a minute) to the post of "Second Deputy Prime Minister" - A post that has been vacant for quite some time. This is big, folks. Back in 2005, when King Fahd died and Prince Bandar was suddenly recalled, I knew there was trouble. I said then that there would be a battle for the throne, and it looks like I was right again. Consider the line of succession:
The King is old, the crown prince is dying and the third in line is missing. And look at the men involved. Abdullah, as I commented in 2005, is hated by the people of Saudi Arabia. He's a brutal dictator, ranked the world's 5th worst. But he's also a "special friend" of the United States:
(Real photograph - I seriously couldn't make this shit up!) Sultan, on the other hand, is not. In 2002, Sultan was one of the 3 princes personally named in a lawsuit for helping finance the 9-11 terrorist attacks. (The other two were Princes Turki bin Faisal and Mohammed bin Faisal). Further, Prince Sultan denied the United States use of Saudi bases to stage military strikes on Afghanistan after said attacks, stating that his government "will not accept in [Saudi Arabia] even a single soldier who will attack Muslims or Arabs." Which brings us to Prince Bandar. Look at the photo again:
If Abdullah's cozy relationship with America pissed off the Saudi people, "Bandar Bush" here must have them positively seeing red. I mean, he's wearing denim for crying out loud! It's easy to see why certain people might want to prevent him from ascending to the throne. And finally, the "relatively unknown half-brother" of the King. You're not going to believe this guy.
His name is Prince Nayef bin Abdul Aziz, and he just got a big promotion. He was 5th in the line of succession. With his appointment as Second Deputy Prime Minister, he is now third. So when Sultan dies (probably some time within the next year), and if Bandar doesn't turn up, this guy will be the next King. This is cause for concern. First of all, he's not really "unknown". Considering the failing health of the King and the Crown prince, Nayef is probably the most powerful man in Saudi Arabia. His last job was Minister of the Interior, where he oversaw all security within the Kingdom. In addition, he chairs the Supreme Council on Information, which oversees the nation's print, television, phone and internet communications. He chairs the Ministerial Oversight Committee on the WTO, which oversees all dealings with the WTO. He chairs the Supreme Committee on the Hajj, which gives him tremendous influence with religeous leaders devout muslims all over the country. He chairs the Ministerial Committee on Morality (Whatever that is, but it doesn't sound good.) He brokered the talks with Iran in 2001, even though he technically has nothing to do with the foriegn ministry. Am I painting a picture here? King Abdullah may wear the crown, but make no mistake - Prince Nayef runs the show. But what about the man himself? Well, for starters, he is known to have personally donated at least $33 million to the widows and orphans of suicide bombers in Palestine. Further, in 1997 when our old friend Osama was trying to smuggle missiles into Saudi Arabia to take out members of the royal family, the Saudi intelligence agency (at the time Headed by Prince Turki bin Faisal) buried a report that Osama had held a number of meetings with Nayef in the months prior. Yeah, you read that right. The Saudi Ministers of intelligence and interior conspired with a known terrorist to assasinate their own King and Prime Minister. He was also named in a (different) lawsuit in 2002 for initiating payoffs to Al Quaeda so they wouldn't attack targets within Saudi Arabia. He's also really cozy with the Ulema - a group of religeous scholars who advise the King on a variety of matters (including the naming of successors). So whether through faith, or cynicism, it appears Nayef is deliberately courting the militant, extremist and conservative voices within the kingdom, while at the same time pushing his way to the throne. So I have to ask...Could he have succeeded this time? Are they going to find Bandar's body out in the desert somewhere, with Nayaf's fingerprints on his throat? March 24 Yertle the TurtleOn the far-away island of Sala-ma-Sond,
Yertle the Turtle was king of the pond. A nice little pond. It was clean. It was neat. The water was warm. There was plenty to eat. The turtles had everything turtles might need. And they were all happy. Quite happy indeed. They were... untill Yertle, the king of them all,
Decided the kingdom he ruled was too small. "I'm ruler", said Yertle, "of all that I see. But I don't see enough. That's the trouble with me. With this stone for a throne, I look down on my pond But I cannot look down on the places beyond. This throne that I sit on is too, too low down. It ought to be higher!" he said with a frown. "If I could sit high, how much greater I'd be! What a king! I'd be ruler of all that I see!" So Yertle, the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And Yertle, the Turtle King, gave a command. He ordered nine turtles to swim to his stone And, using these turtles, he built a new throne. He made each turtle stand on another one's back And he piled them all up in a nine-turtle stack. And then Yertle climbed up. He sat down on the pile. What a wonderful view! He could see 'most a mile! "All mine!" Yertle cried. "Oh, the things I now rule!
I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule! I'm the king of a house! And, what's more, beyond that I'm the king of a blueberry bush and a cat! I'm Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me! For I am the ruler of all that I see!" And all through the morning, he sat up there high
Saying over and over, "A grat king am I!" Until 'long about noon. Then he heard a faint sigh. "What's that?" snapped the king And he looked down the stack. And he saw, at the bottom, a turtle named Mack. Just a part of his throne. And this plain little turtle Looked up and he said, "Beg your pardon, King Yertle. I've pains in my back and my shoulders and knees. How long must we stand here, Your Majesty, please?" "SILENCE!" the King of the Turtles barked back.
"I'm king, and you're only a turtle named Mack." "You stay in your place while I sit here and rule.
I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule! I'm the king of a house! And a bush! And a cat! But that isn't all. I'll do better than that! My throne shall be higher!" his royal voice thundered, "So pile up more turtles! I want 'bout two hundred!" "Turtles! More turtles!" he bellowed and brayed.
And the turtles 'way down in the pond were afraid. They trembled. They shook. But they came. They obeyed. From all over the pond, they came swimming by dozens. Whole families of turtles, with uncles and cousins. And all of them stepped on the head of poor Mack. One after another, they climbed up the stack. Then Yertle the Turtle was perched up so high,
He could see fourty miles from his throne in the sky! "Hooray!" shouted Yertle. "I'm the king of the trees! I'm king of the birds! And I'm king of the bees! I'm king of the butterflies! King of the air! Ah, me! What a throne! What a wonderful chair! I'm Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me! For I am the ruler of all that I see!" Then again, from below, in the great heavy stack,
Came a groan from that plain little turtle named Mack. "Your Majesty, please... I don't like to complain, But down here below, we are feeling great pain. I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, But down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights. We turtles can't stand it. Our shells will all crack! Besides, we need food. We are starving!" groaned Mack. "You hush up your mouth!" howled the mighty King Yertle.
"You've no right to talk to the world's highest turtle. I rule from the clouds! Over land! Over sea! There's nothing, no, NOTHING, that's higher than me!" But, while he was shouting, he saw with suprise
That the moon of the evening was starting to rise Up over his head in the darkening skies. "What's THAT?" snorted Yertle. "Say, what IS that thing That dares to be higher than Yertle the King? I shall not allow it! I'll go higher still! I'll build my throne higher! I can and I will! I'll call some more turtles. I'll stack 'em to heaven! I need 'bout five thousand, six hundred and seven!" But, as Yertle, the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And started to order and give the command, That plain little turtle below in the stack, That plain little turtle whose name was just Mack, Decided he'd taken enough. And he had. And that plain little lad got a bit mad. And that plain little Mack did a plain little thing. He burped!
And his burp shook the throne of the king! And Yertle the Turtle, the king of the trees,
The king of the air and the birds and the bees, The king of a house and a cow and a mule... Well, that was the end of the Turtle King's rule! For Yertle, the King of all Sala-ma-Sond, Fell off his high throne and fell Plunk! in the pond! And today the great Yertle, that Marvelous he, Is King of the Mud. That is all he can see. And the turtles, of course... all the turtles are free As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be. March 20 THE MOST AWESOMEST THING EVER!I swear, if laughing at poetic justice were an olympic sport, I'd be taking home the gold right now. Seriously, you just can't make this stuff up! Check out the letter being circulated to employees of AIG as we speak:
 They are living in absolute terror right now, and in the immortal words of jazz legend Chuck Mangione, it feels sooooooooo good!
I mean we all know this is just a smokescreen designed to steer the torch-weilding mob away from Washington, but how can you not enjoy a show like this? The New York Post is outing execs like James "Jackpot Jimmy" Haas, Douglas Poling and Jonathan Liebergall, complete with home addresses. A local action group calling themselves the Conneticut Working Families is even sponsoring bus tours of these guys' homes! (For educational purposes, of course. They certainly wouldn't want anyone doing anything...uncivilized...*wink wink*). They just want all of the honest, hard-working people who have lost their jobs and homes because of these people to see how the people who put them in the poor house are living.
But I feel it necessary to point out the dark side in all of this.
No, I'm not going to sit here telling my readers how non-violence is the way, or to act rationally or anything like that. I just want to pause for a moment and peek under the hood of this situation and try to descern why exactly AIG is getting so much negative press, and why they are getting it right now. So go grab some toothpicks to prop open your eyelids. We're about to delve into the arcane world of international finance.
When people hear that AIG (and others. They certainly aren't the only ones with their hands out) collecting $30 billion here, $85 billion there, they are often under the impression that the money just vanishes down some dark hole somewhere. It's sort of true, but not in the way one might immediately assume. In actuality, the money is being used to settle something called a "credit default swap" - a derivitive instrument that functions sort of like a bet. It's like me saying "I bet GM is going to go bankrupt" and you saying "No way, never happen." Of course when GM does go bankrupt, you are on the ropes to everyone who bet money with you. It sort of works like that, except you would be AIG, I would be lots of different "counterparties" and GM would be millions of homeowner mortgages.
Naturally, when all of those mortgages went belly-up, AIG got screwed. It was waaaaaaaaay overextended (It owes approximately $27 for every dollar worth of assets it owns) and now all of the counterparties are coming around with their hands out, looking to collect on the bets they won. So just who are these counterparties?
Well that's the big mystery in all of this. AIG has an approximately $2.7 TRILLION dollar counterparty exposure, and because the derivitives market is unregulated (Thank you very much, Larry Summers) nobody knows who ultimately holds the underlying paper. It could literally be anyone!
And that my friends, is why the federal government is throwing AIG to the wolves. It is not to distract the public away from Washington (though it is doing just that as a matter of fortune). The real goal is to ferret out the identity of those CDS counterparties. Washington currently owns 80% of AIG, and they are still no closer to the answers, so they are taking a more draconian measure. They are offering up the executives in the hopes of whipping the public into a frenzy. Then when they torch AIG headquarters (as they almost assuredly will), the secret CDS counterparties will come forward and demand Washington protect their interest in the company.
This is a failing of common conspiracy theories - they assume the government has perfect knowledge and are the sole actors. This is an arrogant and narrow-minded position to take. In this case, I think the government is truly in the dark about to whom they are shoveling mountains of dollars, and it has them very...very worried. Moreover, someone out there may be playing Washington like a fiddle. So much for American primacy. March 18 G.I.V.E. Until it Hurts!I could swear we've seen this movie before. Who here remembers the D.R.E.A.M. Act of 2007? Yeah, the one where illegal immigrants could earn their citizenship by going to die in Iraq. Remember how funny we all thought it was to name it something that could be abbreviated to spell out DREAM?
Well from the comedians who brought you that fiasco, I now present you with the G.I.V.E. Act of 2009.
So tell me, how exactly does that mandatory volunteer service feel? And I bet you all thought I was kidding or overreacting when I said one of the main themes of Obama's administration would be "We must all sacrifice! (Except for me of course, because I'm the President)" Well, laugh it up fools. I'll be sitting back sucking back my schadenfreude salad and shaking my head at all of your doubts. I just hope they have one of these in your fools' sizes:
 When, oh when will they listen to me? |
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